Yesterday my older kids were doing their weekly journal assignments. They get to write in their journals whenever they want but once a week I post a sentence at the top of the page they have to finish. Sentences have ranged from, 'If I could change the color of the sky I would make it.....' to 'Bears hibernate in the winter. Other facts I know about bears are.....'. Yesterday's assignment was 'When I grow up I want to be.....' When I asked my kids what they had written they both replied that they wanted to be moms when they grew up. My little warning bell went off. Without reading their entries I began a mini lecture about how they could do anything they wanted. How Dad and I wanted them to go to college and get a degree. How girls could be in the Olympics, be arquitects, doctors, astronomers....
That was about the time that I drew breathe and Eliora said, "Mom, we put other things too." Turns out Eliora wants to be a mom and work with endangered animals. Audrey wants to be a famous inventor and be a mom.
Later that night the whole thing still kind of bothered me. Why had I responded like that? The greatest joys in my life have come from being married and having my daughters. Right before bed I picked up an article by Julie B. Beck and read,
"Evidence is all around us that the family is becoming less important. Marriage rates are declining, the age of marriage is rising, and divorce rates are rising. Out-of-wedlock births are growing. Abortion is rising and becoming increasingly legal. We see lower birth rates. We see unequal relationships between men and women, and we see cultures that still practice abuse within family relationships. Many times a career gains importance over family.
Many of our youth are losing confidence in the institution of families. They're placing more and more value on education and less and less importance on forming an eternal family. Many don't see forming families as a faith based work. For them, it's a selection process much like shopping."
Wow, what a crazy world my girls are growing up in. The roles are undefined. The possibilities are endless and yet the stress and strain to be everything and do everything is incredible.
With all the craziness the world is throwing at them I would like to have a do over. The next time my girls say they would like to be a mom I want to smile. I want to tell them what it was like the first time I looked into each of their eyes, rocked them softly back to sleep at night, kissed their skinned knees. I want to explain that I chose to stay home because they were more important than anything else I could be doing. I want to let them know that their Dad also chose his profession so that we could make enough to enable me to stay home. It was important to him too. I want them to know that being a mom is one of the most unselfish and noble professions they can have. This does not mean that I will stop saving for their college funds or quit encouraging them in their interests. It just means that sometimes it is okay to have distinct roles at different times in our lives. Right now my role is to be a stay at home mom and I would consider it a great compliment if my children choose to follow the same path.
4 comments:
Well said.
I just read that article the other day.
Aren't we lucky?
Lol, you're so nice Tonia I was told growing up that I'd be lucky if I got married or got into a college. ;) This was mainly due to the fact that I was going to die before I was twenty from a sugar overdose.
My five little beauties will all be successful in all that they do and all the stages that they do them. I say this with confidence, because they have been born of goodly parents, and are being raised knowing who they are and where they came from. If all children were raised with the same dedication that you and Ben put into those girls, the world wouldn't have the problems that it faces today. Job well done; keep up the good work.
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